Catch-22

For all of us enduring this time at home, there seem to have emerged two schools of thought. It's either: what all have you been able to accomplish with this forced home time?  If laid off, have you launched a new app or company yet?  Explored your true passion and found a way to support yourself doing just that?  Or, on the flip side, how much of a couch potato have you become?  Are you taking care of yourself in the ways you never could when working full-time?  Have you added in yoga, meditation, and quiet moments?  Self-hugs?  These approaches to this downtime seem to mimic traits of Type A and B personalities.  Sure, I have cleaned my apartment, reorganized closets and cabinets, dusted and disinfected more than usual. I have rekindled a passion for this goofy, little blog. I'm riding my bike daily, weather permitting, and we have been enjoying some hilarious indoor workouts in this tiny studio apartment.  Some days, it feels like we are rehearsing an act for The Two Stooges. But don't get me wrong...I am also maintaining a healthy relationship with my sofa.  All in all, I'm doing whatever makes me feel ok day by day, trying to stay positive, active, healthy, and sane (tomato, tomahto).  And some combination of both these attitudes and outlooks seems to be the key.

Because really, this pandemic is gut-wrenching no matter where or how you look at our new reality.  While I am itching for outdoor time, not to mention socializing; again, I'm conflicted.  I want to volunteer and help out out there.  My job has an opportunity to help prep foods and organize the weekly grocery pick ups.  And I cannot emphasize enough how thoughtful and generous it is of the company to donate groceries to any employee who signs up for them.  It is a gift.  Most recently, they changed the pick up location to the spot where I had been working. So, it would super easy to help

Memorial and warning at Tompkins Square Park

in a space where I already know the lay of the land.  At the same time, I am quarantined with my significant other (thank heavens), and don't want to expose myself to anything (obvi).  But also knowing I would most certainly expose him adds another layer of caution and fear of the unknown.  It's a catch-22 no matter the situation.  And imagine the sich for essential workers.  A few of my buddies fall into this category and have only seen more work during this time.  None has tested positive for this virus, which is a blessing.  I can only imagine the catch-22 they face.  Is it better to be exposed to the virus, stay home and get better (fingers crossed), and get it out of the way?  And then hopefully be able to face any other waves with antibody immunity...?  Or simply hope and pray that you never get it?   But with negligible symptoms in some, others fall ill and die, with little rhyme or reason, across all age ranges.  It's a lot to take in.  And then there are the conspiracy theories.  And the updates.  Cuomo, De Blasio, the "President."  I discovered a jigsaw puzzle app the other day.  Talk about saving grace.